Speakin' Aussie
"An excellent read - Unique" Linda Howard, New York
This page may be printed for personal use, Click here to Print (3 Pages)
(Warning. This is not for the faint-hearted! Swear words apply)
Gidday mate. (Hello friend).
The Australian lingo (language) is a cinch (easy) to get the hang of (learn). Pretty much, words are shortened. Let's face it, it's usually too ruddy (euphemism for bloody which is a casual swear word) hot to be buggered (bothered) with airs and graces (properness)!
I thought I'd start by teaching you the names for different parts of your anatomy! From the top, there's your mug (face). A mug can also be used for drinking coffee out of and if someone calls you a mug, then you're an idiot! If you are an idiot they might ask you to shut your gob, moosh, hole or trap (mouth). Of course; what's in your mouth is your choppers or fangs (teeth). Your head can be many things too: skull, nut, bean, block, loaf, dome, melon, noggin, scone, conk or crown! If you're a numbskull - you don't have much going on inside! Your ears are your lugs or wing-nuts, your eyes are your peepers or headlamps and your nose is your bugle, honker, snot-box, conk, schnoz or snout!
Moving south to the arm; if your armpits' smell you might be told you pong. Your arm is your fin, your elbow your funny bone and your fingers, your claws or digits. Your fist is your mitt, paw or a bunch-of-fives!
If you're thick-set around the middle you have a spare-tyre, beer-gut or pot. Your bottom is your backside, tail, butt, rear, rump, tush, or arse. So if you go arse-up or arse-over-tit, you fall and land on your bottom!
And finally to get around; your feet are your clod-hoppers and your toes are your tootsies. See, easy isn't it? Now lets have an Ocker (Australian) day out!
When things go bad.
They're rugged or shit (meaning faeces but more so, meaning annoying) or you get the shits (annoyed). The shits also means diarrhoea which is known as the trots or runs! But not as in cricket runs. Talking of cricket, if we play the Windies at the Gabba or the Wacka we are playing the West Indies in Brisbane or Perth. Ariel ping pong is a name for Footy (football also known as Aussie Rules). Thinking of a dip (swim)? Don't forget to take something to wear to swim in: your cossie, swimmers, togs, bathers or costume or you'll end up wearing your birthday suit, starkers or in all your glory (naked)
Let's talk about people - the annoyingly, over-confident type.
You'd say they were; full of shit, all piss and wind, full of it (meaning full of shit), a dickhead or a wanker. You could call them an idiot but that can also be a term of endearment if used in the right context (ie funny).
But what if they're just not all there.
You'd say they were a bit thick, or slow, or maybe a slice short of a loaf.
Now let's talk about our wheels (car) female of course.
If she's old and buggered/knackered (hardly working) she can be a; bomb, rattle trap, chaff-cutter, rust bucket, heap of shit, had the gong, had the Richard, bung, cactus, clapped-out, conked-out, history, rat-shit, rooted, up the shit, wonky or a shit heap. Maybe she's an old car but you love her. Then she's your; limmo (limousine), old girl (can also mean your wife) or chariot. If she's new and there's always something wrong she's a lemon (also meaning lesbian lady). Blokes have; wheels or utes (utility tray back cars), A vee dub is a Volkswagen and a Yank Tank is a large American car!
If you'd been cheated; perhaps on buying your car or something else.
You've been: had, taken for a ride, diddled, fleeced, conned, screwed, sucked in, hood-winked, ripped off, bum-steered, set up, shat on and sucked in because you were; easy game, a Galah (Aussie bird), a mug, a sitting duck or a sucker.
You'd call cheats .
Crooks, rip-off merchants, con artists, sharks, shrewdies, snakes in the grass, weasels, highway robbers, sheisters, shonksters, and if you didn't believe them you'd say; don't come the raw prawn with me, you're having a lend or don't pull a fast one on me. Now let's get on to something nicer.
And lovely children.
They are; ankle biters, Billy-lids, brats, kids, little Vegemites, monsters, nippers, rug-rats, terrors and whippersnappers.
Going out somewhere fancy?
You'd get: dolled up, dolled up to the nines, dressed to kill or decked out, then you'd look spiffy or a million bucks!
What clothes will you wear?
Akubra (brand name of a cowboy-style hat), civvies (clothes other than a uniform). Any clobber, threads or rags are clothes. Clod-hoppers are shoes, as are wedgies (a wedgie also means when your pants are up your bum). Daks, strides or duds are pants (dud also meaning something that doesn't work). Your glad rags are your good clothes and grundies or undies are underpants. Jarmies/PJs are worn to bed. An over shoulder boulder holder is a bra. Tracky-dacks are track-suit pants/fitness-styled trousers. There's always the boob-tube (strapless top for ladies) or tank top (sleeveless t-shirt/singlet). Runners or sneakers on your feet make you run fast but sloppy Joes and windcheaters keep your top half warm. They're your woollies. Your Ugg boots are woollen boots.
Let's get the belly rumbles (hungry) for.,
A barbie (barbeque), chook (chicken), narna (banana), bickie (biscuit), cuppa (tea/coffee), smoko (am/pm tea & cigarette break), maggot bag (meat pie), gut rot (Coca Cola),
If something surprises you, you'd say.
Blimey, bloody Nora, blow me down, bugger me dead, crickeys, by jingo's, holy snapping duck shit, shit a brick, struth, bullshit or crap.
If someone was having a lend of you (telling tales) you'd say.
Like fun mate, pigs arse, pigs might fly, go jump, piss off, bugger off, get stuffed, go jump or rack off. You might also say these things in a disbelieving but fun way to a person you know very well.
Now lets talk about something easy.
Terms for easy; all beer and skittles, a bed of roses, child's play, cushy, easy as pie, a knock-over, no problems, piece of piss, piece of cake or you'd shit it in.
And about the public house.
Hotel: pub, pisser, local or watering hole.
Alcohol drinkers.
Are; boozers, hard cases, winos (wine drinkers), piss-pots, piss heads or alkies.
Alcohol.
Is a; heart starter, hair of the dog, piss, grog, amber fluid (beer), drop or jungle-juice. XXXX, VB & Fosters are common brands of beer, Bundy is Bundaberg Rum. Booze, coldies and brew are beer. Turps means alcohol but is also short for mineral turpentine. Shotties are small throw-downs of spirits and champers is just champagne.
Different sized beer glasses we might drink from.
Pony, middy, schooner, pot or out of a bottle; stubbie or echo (regular sized beer bottles) or tall-y (big beer bottle), but nothing beats a Darwin stubbie (giant sized beer bottle).
The action of drinking is called.
Sinking a coldie, on the grog, grogging-on, sinking a few, on the herbs, wetting the whistle, pissing-on and sucking piss! Ladies don't do that we simply have a drink!
And when we've had too much.
We're; a right-off (as is a car when you smash it beyond repair), wasted, whacked, pissed, sloshed, tipsy, history, had one-to-many, off with the fairies (describes a mad person too), tanked, full as a fart (flatulence, and an old fart is an old person), blind, blotto, rotten, plastered, out of it, had a skinful or cut. If you're half drunk you're half-cut or tipsy and if you're drunk on minimal alcohol you're a two-pot screamer. Oh and if it's your turn to shout, don't yell, that means your turn to buy a drink for everyone.
And if you and others have a few, what sometimes happens?
A fight; Barney, bust-up, ding dong, fisticuff, free-for-all, punch-up, row, scrap, shindig (also means party) or slanging match (more arguing than fighting).
If you get hit?
You get; belt-up, clobbered, crowned, decked, done-like-a-dinner, planted, pulverised, punched the shit out of, shit all over, socked, received a bunch of fives, copped it or hit for six (not the cricket kind) and if you were scared, you'd probably have shit yourself (but not literally).
So the guy that hit you was.
An idiot; basket case, blockhead, Galah (Aussie bird), dickhead, dipstick, drongo (Aussie bird), half-wit, Wally, yobbo, scatterbrain, bonkers, mad as a cut snake or a wacko, whacker, wanker or dickhead!
And when you've been drinking, you've always got to visit the bathroom.
Dunny, lav (lavatory), outhouse, loo, throne or thunder box.
And doesn't sex always come into a bar-room conversation?
Sex; bonk, hanky panky, get laid, make whoopee, nookie, quickie or score.
Your partner is.
Female (your good lady, the old girl or the Mrs). Male (your old man, his Lordship or your hubby).
And a few other handy words to know.
blowie (blowfly), boatie (boat-enthusiast), chewie (chewing gum), chockie (chocolate), chrissy (Christmas), cockie (cockatoo bird), croc (crocodile), cuey (cucumber), deli (delicatessen), demo (demonstration), flattie (flat tyre), freebie (free item), genny (generator), greenies & tree huggers (environmentalists), hollies (holidays), hottie (nice-looking person), info (information), mozzie (mosquito), muddie (Queesland mud crab), mushi (mushroom), muso (musician), pickies (pictures), pozzie (position). Quickie (quick sex), rellies (relatives), Rocky (Rockhampton or rough), sickie (work sick-day), specs (glasses/spectacles), speedos (undie-style swimwear for men), stubbies (brand of shorts and bottle of beer), swag (outdoor sleeping bag), tinnie (small aluminium boat), 6 pack (6 beers or a man's rippling abdominal muscles), slab (case of beer), case (slab of beer), vegies (vegetables), vocab (vocabulary), wheelie (squeal the car wheels), yachtie (yachtsman), yammy (Yamaha motorcycle), bushie (bushman), ticker (heart), munchies (snack food), nosh (food), barra (Barramundi fish), brekkie (breakfast), brunch (breakfast and lunch combined), cackleberry (egg), chew and spew (take-away food), chewies (chewing gum), chook (chicken), dagwood (huge sandwich), fart fodder (flatulence inducing food), gunk (horrible food), lamington (cake with chocolate outside, rolled in coconut), marg (margarine), pav (pavlova), sanger (sandwich).
And when it's time for us to go - permanently.
We die; bite the dust, cark it, croak, curl up our toes, get bumped off, give up the ghost, kick the bucket, snuff it, push up daisies or we're cactus! And I'm not, so.
See ya's later, no worries, no problems!
Tonya the Banana Bender (Queenslander)
© 2004 www.toursincairns.com
Talking Australian may be printed but not copied.
I'd like to acknowledge the following book, which aided my already too-well-used use of the 'Dinky Di' language (just ruddy bad Australian English).
Johansen, Lenie (Midge) The Dinkum Dictionary, a ripper guide to Aussie English 1988